How to navigate caregiving when a loved one is suffering memory loss.
One of the ultimate acts of love is caring for a loved one as they age. Degenerative diseases, such as dementia, are more common than many people realise. According to the NHS, 1 in 11 people over the age of 65 have dementia in the UK. This number is also increasing as people are living longer.
Deciding when caregiving for an older loved one becomes necessary is difficult, but the first step is having a conversation with them. It can help you determine how to ease the burden of their everyday tasks and assist with their long-term care planning.
Understandably, you could be met with some resistance. The potential loss of independence is a common fear, but some may welcome help if they already acknowledge behavioural changes that may put themselves or others at risk.
Warning signs: When is it more than forgetfulness?
Misplacing an item, name or face every so often is normal. So, it can be hard to know when to pick up on red flags. Often the early signs are missed, and we only notice when an event brings it to light, such as doubling up medication or getting lost on their daily walk.
Experts say there’s a marked difference in mild forgetfulness – a normal part of aging vs signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Here are some signs to look out for when it comes to serious cognitive impairment or dementia:
• Forgetting recent events, upcoming events, or regular appointments
• Repeating the same questions or stories
• Misplacing items often
• Failing to recall the names of close family or friends
• Losing focus or getting easily distracted
• Having trouble coming up with desired words
• Struggling with paying bills, shopping, cooking and other household tasks
• Displaying poor judgment or an inability to reason or problem-solve
If you’re starting to notice this type of behaviour in your loved one, it may be time to intervene. Your support and care at this stage can greatly improve your loved one’s quality of life.
A delicate conversation: How to approach your loved one
How do you tell a family member you’re concerned about their well-being without triggering denial or defensiveness?
Start by considering the number of people involved in the conversation. Too many people in the discussion can make them feel overpowered and vulnerable. The most important thing to remember is to approach the conversation with compassion and an empathetic tone. They may not realise – or be willing to admit – that they’re experiencing memory issues.
Getting help: Options for providing support
When your family member’s memory begins to fade, your role as a caregiver is essential, providing day-to-day support and planning for the future. In some instances, they may have already put plans in place for when this happens, such as moving in with a child willing to become their caregiver or receiving at-home care. You may be able to get a sense of this in your initial conversation. Of course, if this is not the case, you’ll not only need to determine a plan of action for today but think about tomorrow.
In addition to discussing their wishes on where to live, other affairs you should help your family member sort out (sooner rather than later) include:
• A will
• A trust
• A Power of Attorney for property and financial affairs
• A Power of Attorney for health and welfare
It’s ideal for them to work out their wishes before their memory deteriorates any further. This will give you peace of mind that you’re honouring their hopes and desires as you coordinate caregiving needs.
Finding resources: emerging advancements and unconventional approaches
Although there’s no cure for dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, there have been advancements in medications that may help slow the progression of the disease. Most are best used when symptoms first begin and there’s an early diagnosis. The Montessori method for approaching dementia is based on a childhood educator’s philosophies and is gaining momentum with caregivers.
Providing any level of caregiving and support for your loved one as they age can be overwhelming. But remember, there are resources you can leverage to help you (and them) proceed with peace of mind. Honouring their wishes and ensuring their safety is paramount; with open communication and a little understanding, you can be by their side on this journey.
For more information on looking after someone with dementia, visit the below websites:
NHS – Worried someone has dementia?
Age UK – Caring for someone with dementia
Alzheimer’s Society – Getting help and support as a carer
Sources: NHS.uk; my.clevelandclinic.org; alzheimerswa.org.au; alzheimerswa.org.au; citizensadvice.org.uk; verywellhealth.com; nia.nih.gov; ncoa.org; nia.nih.gov; alz.org; raymondjames.com; goodwill-suncoast.org; enlivant.com
